Crack the Perfectionism Code

Cracking the perfectionism code is about how to create openings in the energetic limitations associated with perfectionism. There is no doubt we are in a mass movement of invisible energies that create frequencies. These frequencies can run into blocks of stuck energy and put a halt to your ability to be in the flow of life. We have so many rules, regulations, societal beliefs, and religious dogma that shows up as ways to exist in a perfect world and a perfect life. Everyone has some level of perfectionism to measure your expectations and standards by and some of us can become paralyzed by it.

Spirit shows me a wall as high as the ice wall in Game of Thrones series. I can remember the line weaved throughout the series, ‘Winter is Coming’. On one side of the great wall of ice was a beautiful landscape of normal seasons of change. On the far side of the wall, was pure thick glacier ice several miles thick. The stone wall between was like granite, immovable as it holds back the frozen tundra behind it. On the icy side, people lived underground, where there were warm underwater streams and caves for warmth and protection. Recently I created a video about this which inspired a youtuber to comment this; “Today I realized how much perfectionism I project on to those people that are closest to me. During meditation this morning, I came to realize that the wall of ice (perfectionism) I have created throughout my life, has consumed all possible aspects of self-acceptance. Accepting my failures and imperfections means that I, in turn, have to accept the imperfect world that I live in. Only the imperfect men were cast away to the “Night’s Watch” to forever dwell on their shortcomings. Note: In the series Game of Thrones, the men sent to be the night watchmen lived at the stone castle in front of the ice wall in the bitter cold.

When the energy of perfectionism is in the energy field it can appear this same way. The frozen thick glass energy exists around the outside of your energy field/ aura. It creates a barrier between you and the natural seasons of human cycles of learning. The thicker the layer of perfectionism the further your spirit is forced underground in the lower 3 chakras. Your auric field begins to collapse under the weight of perfectionistic standards and expectations. Which in turn gets in the way of your ability to simply be your natural expressive self.

It does not matter what type of perfectionism it is, the way it appears in the human energy field is similar. As the frequency of perfectionism builds it also suppresses at the same time. This scenario of perfectionism as a coping mechanism serves us well in our earlier developmental years, until…it doesn’t. During the holiday season of Christmas, that wall of the perfect Christmas can build so high that you can collapse under the weight of it all. Add the perfect self, the perfect family, the perfect house, job, clothes, personality and before you know it, you feel as if you can no longer breathe. Read my blog on the body’s responses to coping mechanisms.

Clients and students have shared with me in the past that they do not have any perfectionism at all interpreting this as nothing really bothers them. This may be true in most situations, but everyone has some level of perfectionism. When we think about someone who is a perfectionist and then attempt to see ourselves compared to them, it can be easy to be in denial about our own perfectionistic qualities. You may notice that the fear of not being perfect enough can cause you to make your world very small, so you can lower your risk of someone seeing how imperfect you really are.

Desiring things to be perfect is not the same thing as perfectionism. The difference is whether you can accept when things are not perfect, or do you collapse under the feeling of failure? Let’s say you wish to organize a holiday party at the office. You can dream about all the ways you can lay out activities and decorate in your mind’s eye. You can also ask several people at the office to speak to the staff before handing out gifts or bonuses. You may also ask staff members to make appetizers or arrange to have the party catered. You have crossed all the “T’s” and dotted all the “I’s” and have double checked that everything is in order, and you have confirmed with everyone their jobs. Now remember you have stated that you do not have perfectionism.

You had arranged for the office to be cleared so you could decorate before everyone came in, but a last-minute crisis happened, and staff needed to keep working. When the speaker talked to the staff, their speech was thoughtless and not well planned, and they made hurtful jokes about some of the staff. The food was too spicy, the caterer was short staffed and needed help unloading the food, and some of the staff snuck in hard liquor and were taking shots in the bathroom. Unfortunately, this scenario is far too common when there is an intense wall of perfectionism energy around an event.

Perfectionism energy has a way of completely shooting your plans in all directions. Like bullets ricocheting off the wall. The events are cracking that wall of perfectionism. The energy flow in the room has only one way it can go as it flows through the tiny cracks. The tightness of perfectionism is so constrictive for everyone at the holiday party can act out as a way to push back against the suppressed energy. This is why those shows on Bridezilla are so popular because they are trying so hard to have their wedding to go right that it can only go disastrously wrong. Perfectionism can appear like a snow globe, glass on the outside and the perfect village on the inside. Nothing ever changes on the inside of the globe. You end up keeping your world very small so you can manage perfectionism. You tend to not try new things if you cannot be perfect enough immediately.

We see this all the time when training our students to do psychic reading. Expectations to be perfect at it the very first few months can really trigger all kinds of doubts, insecurities, and desires to want to quit. The students work so hard to dismantle their own expectations quickly because attempting to measure up to being a perfect psychic reader is so uncomfortable. Even knowing their expectations are unreasonable still can’t quickly shift or clear it fast enough. When I registered for Clairvoyant School, I remember asking the dean of the school when I will start learning to be psychic. The dean responded with a slight smiling laugh; oh, Nancy you misunderstand, here we already consider you to be very psychic. You have come here to clear all those energy blocks that interfere with you knowing you are psychic.

Projected perfectionism is another form of thinking that you are more perfect than others. No one ever says they are more perfect than everyone else and in fact most would be mortified to even think that might be true. When you project judgement onto someone else, you are essentially expressing your perfectionistic qualities onto them. As a parent you may have ideas of what a perfect child should be like. When you become a teenager or adult you may have ideas of what a perfect parent should be like and have judgement of your parents because they behave in imperfect ways. Then suddenly the child becomes the imperfect parent and has greater appreciation for their own parents.

Perfectionism is a coping/survival mechanism and as I said before it can work well to help you achieve the higher standards you wish to live by. Psychology Today talks about perfectionism and mental health. Yet, when you have relied on perfection, each exchange or event where you use perfectionism builds up layer upon layer of thick icy glass type energy and your coping can begin to collapse under it all. Perfect coping energy can pour out of the lower three physical chakras (energy centers) causing you to freeze and become immobile to change. Spirit showed me that we can have 100 doors of opportunity to open and yet when we have a perfect idea of how something should turn out we only allow one of the 100 doors to be available to us. When allowing the divine to help guide the outcome, it always turns out so much better than we can imagine.

This does not mean completely backing off of the standards of expectations of appropriate behaviors. This does not mean don’t set boundaries. It just means, clear your perfectionism around family, children, parents, husbands, wives, work mates, BEFORE launching into a list of rules and regulations. Perfect teacher, perfect student, perfect Facebook live talks, perfect YouTube, perfect blogs as the list of perfect qualities grow. The weight of it all can make anyone feel as if they can never measure up so why bother. I was given an assignment to make a promotional video that was less than 5 minutes in length. Do you know it took me erasing and re-recording 65 times before I had a perfect product? Letting go of perfect video energy has helped me tremendously. I still desire a beautiful product, but I no longer lose sleep over it if the dog kicked the tripod that wiggled the image.

In our current societal climate, we are experiencing a perfectionism that has ancient roots. Those standards were set during a time when it might have been necessary but is now outdated, overgrown and incompatible with our expanding consciousness. Like an old standard is mind your own business, or what happens in the house, stays in this house. Just yesterday a law was passed in Indonesia that you cannot have sex unless you are married. Even tourists must live under this standard or be thrown in jail for a year. Yet somewhere in Indonesia there is a culture that has perfect ideas of how a sexually healthy society should behave. I am sure you all can come up with other ways society sets their belief around perfect standards we should all live by.

Make a list of how the energy of perfectionism limits you in our own life. Make a list of people you love in your life that you may be holding to a perfectionistic standard. Give yourself and others the opportunity to be imperfect while striving towards the high standards you admire. Releasing the weight of perfectionism, is a place to start so you can live in a light hearted, light minded way that is less burdened.